BOOK: Now I Know / The Toll Bridge - Aidan Chambers

Title: Now I Know / The Toll Bridge
Author: Aidan Chambers
Genre: Teens
Publisher: Randomhouse (1987/1992)
Pages: Paperback, 229/195 (two books in one)
Language: English
Rating: 6/10 and 8/10

Now I Know - Summary: Nik is researching a film about Jesus when he meets Julie, a girl who passionately believes in a Christian God. While their relationship evolves, young police officer Tom is trying to find out what happened with a body found hanging on a makeshift cross in the scrap yard.

Now I Know - Review
This was a tough read, not only because of the subject matter, but also because of the confusing parallel story of Tom. His report is not told in chronological order and the switch between different points of view on top of seperate timelines was difficult to follow. Nik's use of film-script style in between his personal story was not making it any easier to understand what was going on.
But the hardest thing to comprehend were Julie's beliefs. I'm an atheist myself and even though I grew up with the idea of a Christian God, in the last few years I found it more and more incomprehensible that people still hold on to that. No matter how hard Julie tries, I just can not go along with her. I was annoyed that Nik was willing to forget his own standards because of his romantic feelings for her.
At the end of the book author Aidan Chambers talks about his motives for writing this story, which he admits is his most difficult to date. His explanation made me feel a little better, but I still have a lot of issues with it. I think mostly because all of his other books have characters that seem to be on my wavelenght and I just got used to loving all of them.
The plot of Now I Know is certainly intriguing, but I was too distracted by the excruciating conversations between Nik and Julie to really enjoy this.

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The Toll Bridge - Summary: Jan is not ready to decide what he wants to do after school and takes a job as keeper of a toll bridge. He wants to use this time to make up his mind about his future. He hopes living alone will help him find out who he really is. Then he meets Tess and Adam who also face turning points in their lives.

The Toll Bridge - Review
After reading Now I Know (see above) The Toll Bridge was a welcome return to a more reassuring view of life. As with Aidan Chamber's earlier books Dance On My Grave and Breaktime I immediately felt a connection with the main character. I understood completely when Jan was not thrilled to have company on his journey to self-awareness. And just like him I eventually appreciated having people around who of course turn out to be very important for his development.
Jan is telling the story as a memory and there are in between comments by Tess. On the first page there is a dedication to Adam, so I had a sense of dread for what was going to happen. But whatever theories I came up with about Adam, they all paled in comparison to his real history. Until Adam's past is uncovered, it is fascinating to see Jan handle his own issues of growing up and dealing with people. Even the recognisable struggle with ordinairy life is intense. I love how Jan never questions his own feelings, but takes everything that happens in his stride. Even if he himself doesn't necessarily experience it quite as matter-of-factly as that, you know everything is going to work out in the end. Although maybe not as comfortably as you hope.