FANFIC: All The Way To Paris by Caroline Crane 3/4

Posted with permission from the author. See notes in sidebar.
Title: All the Way to Paris by Caroline Crane
Rating: NC17 (See happy reading in sidebar!)
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Summary: This is an AU that starts at the end of season three and then breaks off from canon. If you've read "Four Things That Never Happened to Greg Sanders" the beginning will seem familiar -- it starts with one of the four AU storylines from that fic and then explores what could have happened if the show had ever dealt with the lasting effects of Greg's injuries.

Chapters:part 01 part 02 part 03 part 04
An additon to this universe - August 2008: Yesterday's Notions

Part Three

So far Greg had done a pretty good job of avoiding actual conversation, but he knew sooner or later Nick was going to start talking again. He talked a lot more during sex than Greg expected, mostly about how much he wanted Greg and how much he'd missed him. A few months ago Greg would have given anything to hear more of that, but now…now all they had was a day, then Nick would be gone and Greg would be left thinking about all those things he'd tried so hard not to hear.

The real problem was that he wanted Nick to miss him – he liked that Nick thought about him when he wasn't around. He liked that Nick wanted him so much that he'd gotten on a plane without bothering to tell Greg, and he really liked the way Nick touched him. He liked the feeling of that mouth on his skin, those hands mapping every inch of him like Nick was trying to memorize him. And that was all part of the problem, because this was supposed to help him get Nick out of his system, not let him burrow so far under Greg's skin that he'd never be able to forget.

He wasn't sure how long they'd been asleep – a few minutes, or maybe a few hours – when Nick's hand slid down his hip, thumb moving in slow circles on Greg's skin as that mouth found his neck again. He'd kissed Nick into silence once already, and he'd kept kissing Nick until they finally drifted off into an exhausted, dreamless sleep, but he wasn't sure how many times he could get away with it before Nick called him on it. He was an investigator, after all, and he knew a lot more than Greg did about getting information out of suspects.

"You asleep?" Nick murmured against his ear, his breath hot and tickling Greg's skin.

"Yeah," Greg answered, smiling in spite of the butterflies in his stomach when Nick laughed and inched a little closer. He could feel Nick's cock pressed against his back, half-hard already, and he pressed back into the sensation. Maybe part of it was just another attempt at distraction, but Nick had made a promise earlier about fucking him and Greg was still waiting for him to follow through.

As though Nick could read his mind his hand left Greg's hip to dip between them, pressing his top leg gently toward his chest. He 'hmmed' low in his throat as his hand slid back down Greg's leg, fingers brushing the sensitive skin of Greg's inner thigh just enough to send a shudder through him. And he never would have figured Nick for a tease, but when a finger pressed inside him only to disappear again almost right away he couldn't stop the disappointed groan. A second later he felt the mattress shift, and he looked over his shoulder just in time to watch Nick stand up.

For a second he was mesmerized by the sight of Nick's strong, solid back and a perfect ass that led to muscular thighs, but when Nick reached for his bag and started digging around Greg frowned and rolled onto his back. "What, am I boring you already?"

Nick didn't answer right away; he could be frustratingly single-minded when he wanted to be, but it was a lot more annoying when Greg was naked and hard than it was when they were in the lab. When he finally found what he was looking for he straightened up and turned back to the bed, smiling that dazzling smile that made it impossible for Greg to stay mad at him. "Trust me, G, the last thing you are is boring."

He dropped whatever he'd been looking for on the mattress – condoms and lube, Greg surmised with a quick glance – before he slid back down next to the other man and pressed their lips together. Greg sighed into the kiss, parting his lips and pressing up against Nick until they were side by side again. He slid one leg over the other man's hip, groaning against Nick's mouth when their cocks brushed together. And it was amazing just to be with Nick this way, but he knew it could be a lot better.

He pulled away with a gasp and turned onto his other side, reaching for the small tube Nick had brought with him and pressing it into the other man's hand. Nick laughed softly against his neck and took the lube, his lips brushing across Greg's shoulder as he opened it and squeezed a little onto his fingers. Greg drew his top leg up toward his chest again as Nick's hand slid between them, moaning and pushing back when the first finger slid inside him.

It had been a long time since he did this, so the stretch felt wider than it should have, but he pressed back into it anyway and ignored the slight twinge of discomfort. A few seconds later Nick's finger sank even deeper and the discomfort melted into a mixture of pleasure and anticipation, and he closed his eyes and pressed back against the warm body behind him.

A low murmur of approval escaped Nick's throat as he slid a second finger in to join the first, his mouth working its way from Greg's shoulder all the way to the sensitive skin just behind his ear. "You never said anything," Nick murmured against his skin, his voice so soft that for a second Greg thought he'd imagined it.

When he said it again Greg realized that not only had he really heard it, but Nick was expecting an answer. The last thing he wanted to do right now was talk; what he wanted to do was spend the next twenty-four hours thinking as little as possible, but he had a feeling Nick wasn't going to let him get away with that.

"I wasn't sure." His voice was embarrassingly breathy, but if Nick noticed he didn't seem to care. Besides, Greg's whole body was already flushed, so it didn't make much of a difference when the sound of his own voice made him blush.

"You weren't sure of what?"

"Wasn't sure…you wanted me," Greg answered, his eyes squeezed shut in an effort to concentrate long enough to remember how to work his voice. "God, Nick…"

He squeezed his muscles around the fingers buried inside him, and when Nick groaned and pulled out of him he reached for one of the condoms Nick had dropped next to him. His fingers trembled too much to open the package, so he handed it back to Nick. Strong fingers pulled the condom out of his hand, but when Nick's hand caught his and warm lips brushed across his fingers Greg forgot how to breathe.

He was supposed to be self-conscious about his tremor; it bothered him whenever his friends stared, and it bothered him more when they asked him about it like it made him different somehow. So he didn't want to like it when Nick deliberately kissed his knuckles, then squeezed his fingers before letting go and tearing the foil open. It was just another one of those things he didn't want to get used to, because in a day Nick would be gone and they'd be back to phone calls, and Greg would spend way too much time trying to decide whether or not he'd just imagined all this.

Before he managed to talk himself completely out of it Nick rolled the condom down, reaching for the lube and letting out a soft hiss as he ran a slick hand over his cock. A second later he was pushing inside Greg, his breathing erratic as he fought the urge to push too fast. It felt like forever before he was all the way in, slick fingers gripping Greg's hip just a little too hard. And even that felt good, better than Greg would ever admit. Then Nick started moving and Greg closed his eyes tight and pressed back into the sensation, urging Nick to move a little faster when he couldn't take the excruciating pace anymore.

Nick's hand left his hip and slid under his leg, gripping his cock hard enough to make Greg moan and tighten convulsively around the other man. For a second they both froze, but when Greg finally relaxed Nick started moving again, his hand stroking roughly in time to his thrusts. "How long?"

And it was funny how he understood exactly what Nick was asking from just two words. He could pretend he didn't, but he knew Nick would spell out the question if he had to, spitting each word out from between gritted teeth. And there was no way he was going to tell Nick the humiliating truth, no way he was going to own up to two years of hero worship that eventually grew into full-blown, pathetically unrequited love. "Don't know," he choked out, grunting when Nick thrust a little harder. "Awhile."

Nick's teeth grazed his neck and Greg shuddered, half expecting the other man to force the issue until Greg admitted the truth. There was no way Nick could know, though; he might have figured out how Greg felt about him after Greg left, but he'd been totally oblivious for a long time. If he thought the truth would get him something he'd admit it gladly, but all it would do now was make Nick feel guilty that it had taken him so long to wake up. Either that or it would make him feel like he owed Greg something, and that was the last thing he wanted. All he wanted from Nick was…this, just enough time to get it out of his system so he could get on with his life.

That was the end of the conversation for awhile, and when Nick spoke again it was to moan Greg's name when he came. That and the persistent pressure on his cock were enough to pull Greg over the edge, and he let go with a low, broken moan. For awhile they stayed that way, Nick's cock still pulsing inside him and their breathing slowly evening out. He knew it couldn't last forever, though, and when Nick finally pulled out of him Greg closed his eyes and tried to ignore the hollow feeling in the center of his chest. It didn't mean anything; it was just because he knew this would all be over soon, and there would be plenty of time to worry about that once Nick was gone.

He was still trying to convince himself that was true when strong arms wrapped around him again, Nick's lips brushing the scars closest to the top of his back. Greg tried not to shiver at the touch, but he knew he'd failed when Nick's arms tightened even more around him. Part of him wanted to pull away, to pretend he was exhausted until Nick finally fell asleep again, but Nick's chest felt good pressed against his back and Greg didn't want to move.

"If this had happened before would you have left anyway?"

The question was soft, but Nick's mouth was close to his ear and Greg heard the words clearly. He fought the urge to tense in Nick's grip, swallowing a sigh and forcing his eyes open to look down at Nick's hand pressed against his chest. "I don't know. Maybe not."

"So come back," Nick said, and his voice was so full of determination that for a second Greg almost wanted to say yes.

"Right, because Grissom'll just give me my job back because you want him to," he said instead, rolling onto his back to look at the other man. He held up a hand and watched it shake until Nick reached out and closed his own hand around it, entwining their fingers together. "He gave me my walking papers for a reason. Besides, you said yourself that they already replaced me."

"He'd find a place for you if you wanted to come back," Nick said, and he sounded so sure of himself that Greg wanted to laugh. "You're doing lab work now and it doesn't interfere."

"It's different," Greg answered, but he wasn't sure he'd be able to explain exactly how even if he wanted to. He didn't want to tell Nick that the tremor all but stopped when Nick wasn't around, that it didn't interfere with his new job as long as he wasn't thinking about anything stressful. He didn't want to have this conversation at all, because there was a part of him that sort of wished he hadn't left Vegas the way he did.

Nick's free hand slid through his hair, and he closed his eyes against the sensation. He didn't want Nick's pity, but he wanted Nick, and he wasn't sure how much he'd do to hold on to that. "Look," he said, forcing his eyes open to look at the other man, "Grissom made his decision, and I have to live with it. His loss, right?"

"It's not just his loss," Nick answered, and when Nick kissed him again Greg prayed Nick wouldn't hear how fast his heart was beating.

~

All things considered, Nick was feeling pretty good about his visit by the time Sunday morning rolled around. He wished they had more time, but even if he had another day or two it wouldn't be enough. Still, they hadn't done a lot of talking in the past thirty-six hours, and he knew there were a lot of things that needed to be said. It was hard to focus on conversation when Greg was right there in front of him, though, and once Nick was back in Vegas all they'd have was conversation.

He'd brought up the lab a couple more times after that first night, but he hadn't pressured Greg to consider coming back again. He couldn't really blame Greg for not wanting to go back after the way he'd left; if Greg was embarrassed about getting fired it was understandable, even though it wasn't his fault. That was the part that really bothered Nick – if Greg was still living in Vegas things between them would be perfect, so it was hard not to blame Grissom and Catherine for the fact that they were stuck dealing with a long-distance relationship.

It wasn't a situation he ever thought he'd find himself in, but his feelings for Greg weren't like anything he'd ever felt before. Before he'd decided to fly to California they'd been intense, but now that they'd spent two nights together he was even more determined to make it work. His resolve got a little stronger every time he caught sight of Greg, and as he watched the other man walk out of the bathroom and run a hand through his already wild hair Nick's heart skipped a beat.

"You sure you're up for this?"

Greg rolled his eyes, but he was smiling and Nick knew he wasn't nearly as annoyed as he was trying to sound. "If you ask me that one more time I'll let you take a cab."

He wasn't about to sacrifice what little time he had left with Greg, even if it was just a ride to the airport. Greg was the one who'd offered to drive him, after all, and if he wanted to sit in traffic on his way home Nick wasn't going to talk him out of it. He tried and failed to stifle a grin as he reached for his bag, swinging it over his shoulder as he followed Greg out of the room. When they reached the elevators he pushed the down button and turned to look at Greg, reaching out to rest a hand on the other man's shoulder.

"I wish I could stay longer, but Sara's got one of her conferences starting tomorrow and Cath's got the night off for some thing with Lindsey."

Greg shrugged off the explanation, the motion making Nick's hand slip off his shoulder and onto his back. He let his fingers linger there for a second before he pulled his hand away; touching Greg had become sort of a fetish for him in the past two days, and it was hard to keep his hands to himself when he knew that soon he wouldn't be able to touch Greg at all.

"Duty calls, right?" Greg said as the elevator doors opened. He stepped inside and waited for Nick to follow before he pushed the button for the lobby. "Besides, I have to work tomorrow anyway."

"Right," Nick answered, glancing curiously at Greg as the elevator began to move. He didn't want to think that Greg was happy to be getting rid of him; he'd seemed pretty glad to have Nick around for the past two days, even if he'd been a little surprised when Nick showed up on his doorstep. Nick had expected him to be shocked, but once he got over that everything had gone exactly the way Nick hoped it would. He knew where he stood with Greg now – he thought he did, anyway – and that was the whole point of this trip.

"So where'd you tell Grissom you were going?" Greg asked as they reached the lobby and stepped out of the elevator.

It was the first time Greg had voluntarily brought up the subject of anything to do with Las Vegas since that first night, and Nick couldn't help wondering what exactly he was asking. The truth was that he hadn't needed to tell anyone anything – Grissom had figured it out even before Nick did, and it didn't take the rest of the night shift long to read between the lines. He knew there was going to be a lot of teasing and maybe a few weird looks when he got back to the lab, but he didn't care about any of that. He had no idea how Greg would feel about it, though, and he didn't want to jeopardize whatever chance he had of convincing Greg to come home.

"I didn't," he finally answered, stopping at the desk long enough to drop off his key before he followed Greg out of the lobby and toward his car. "I just told him I needed a couple days off."

He couldn't tell from Greg's nod if that was the right answer or not; Greg had always been a little confusing, but ever since he left Vegas he'd been different in ways Nick hadn't really expected. He kept telling himself it shouldn't be that surprising considering – of course Greg wouldn't be as quick to joke around and make light of his situation after what he'd been through, but he'd never expected Greg to seem so…resigned. He'd given up on the crime lab and becoming a CSI a lot more quickly than Nick ever would have expected, and he didn't seem to want to consider trying again.

Nick tossed his bag in the back of the car before he slid into the passenger seat, stealing a quick glance at Greg's profile as he buckled his seat belt. After their first night together Greg's hands had stopped shaking almost completely, and when he started the car and pulled out of the lot they were as steady as they had been before the accident. It made Nick wonder why Greg was fighting the idea of going back to Vegas so hard, especially when he knew Grissom would take him back. At least Nick thought he knew that; maybe he just needed to hear it from Grissom instead of Nick.

"I've got plenty of room at my place, you know. In case you change your mind about that visit."

Greg sighed dramatically, but his mouth twisted into an almost-smile, and Nick couldn't help grinning back. "Are you always this stubborn?"

"Only when I want something," Nick answered. And he'd missed that smile most of all, the one that made Greg look like a kid with a secret. It made him want all sorts of things he was pretty sure he couldn't have, but knowing that didn't help him want them any less.

He wanted to tell Greg to come home even though he already knew exactly what answer he'd get. He'd beg if he thought it would make any difference, but they'd already had that conversation once, and he knew the answer hadn't changed yet. That didn't mean he was going to stop asking – all it meant was that he'd be more careful about how he asked. He'd do whatever Greg needed, and if that meant finding an excuse to get Greg back to Vegas, that was exactly what he'd do.

He stretched out his arm and let his hand rest against the back of Greg's neck, swallowing a relieved sigh when the other man didn't flinch away from him. "Listen, tell your parents thanks again, would you?"

"You already thanked them like ten times," Greg answered, glancing over at Nick long enough to grin at him. "If you really want to score points with them you could send them a fruit basket."

Nick smiled sheepishly at that; it was true that he'd probably laid it on a little thick when he met Greg's parents, but meeting the folks wasn't something he was used to. Then there was the fact that they both knew exactly where Greg had spent the weekend; he'd called on Saturday morning so they wouldn't worry, but Nick still felt a little weird about the whole thing. It made him feel like a kid on prom night, trying to convince his date's parents that they weren't really doing anything wrong.

He didn't say anything else until Greg pulled up in front of the terminal, putting the car in park before he looked over at Nick. It had been a long time since anything really made Nick nervous, but lately whenever he thought about Greg his stomach fluttered. It was even worse when Greg was right in front of him, looking at him with a cross between expectation and uncertainty. Nick unbuckled his seat belt and leaned across the arm rest, adjusting as best he could to the awkward angle as he pressed their lips together.

Greg's mouth was warm under his, his fingers clenched around the front of Nick's shirt as though he was afraid to let go. Nick's heart skipped another beat at that thought and he surged even closer in the cramped space, suddenly wishing they weren't in a public place surrounded by busy people on their way out of town. He wanted…everything – more time, a sign that this thing between them was going somewhere, some kind of assurance that Greg felt the same thing he was feeling.

He settled for another kiss, harder this time and a little desperate, and even that wasn't enough to calm the flurry of butterflies in his stomach. When he pulled away again he smiled and let his hand linger on Greg's neck for another moment, then he reached for his bag and forced himself out of the car.

"I'll give you a call," he said, hesitating for a second when Greg nodded. "And just so you know, I didn't have to tell Grissom where I was going."

~

Greg watched Nick disappear into the terminal, and after Nick was gone he stared at the empty space where the other man had been for longer than he really wanted to think about. He tried convincing himself that Nick hadn't really meant anything by what he'd said, but if that was true then Nick wouldn't have said it. No, there was only one thing he could have meant – Grissom knew about them, and if Grissom knew…there was no telling who else knew.

It made sense, especially when he considered that some temp on the night shift knew who he was when he called looking for Nick. Not that Greg really minded – he'd never been the shy type, and he'd never cared who knew the specifics of his love life. So it didn't matter to him if the entire night shift knew exactly where Nick had spent his weekend. What did bother him was the fact that Nick was concerned with who knew about his personal life – he always had been, for as long as Greg knew him he'd kept that kind of information to himself as much as he could. It didn't make any sense that he'd tell the whole night shift he was going to visit Greg.

He wanted to go after Nick, to follow him through the airport like the hero in one of those cheesy romantic movies just so he could ask what exactly Nick had meant and why it mattered that Grissom knew where he was. He wanted to know enough to risk his car getting towed, but he didn't know which flight Nick was on or even which airline to start with. He didn't know anything, and that was just starting to sink in as he pulled away from the curb and pointed his car toward the freeway.

This weekend…it wasn't supposed to happen at all, but once Nick was standing in front of him Greg told himself maybe it was for the best. At least now they knew what they'd been missing, and they wouldn't have to spend the rest of their lives wondering. He'd told himself the not knowing was worse – as long as he didn't know for sure his imagination could invent all kinds of amazing possibilities, but once they slept together he'd have the reality to dispel whatever wild fantasies he could come up with.

He'd never expected the reality to live up to the fantasy. That wasn't supposed to happen, just like Nick wasn't supposed to show up in the first place, then leave him with a promise to call like this was just the first step in their relationship. They didn't even have a relationship – a relationship was about fun, it was about two people who connected on a level that defied explanation. And okay, they had that second part down, that much Greg was sure of after the past two days. But he wasn't having any fun, and he couldn't believe Nick was really looking forward to a string of phone calls and an occasional weekend here and there.

Then there was the fact that Greg was already thinking about the next time, as though they'd agreed to see each other again. Only he was pretty sure they had, because even though neither of them had said the words out loud it was pretty obvious Nick hadn't just said goodbye.

He told himself he was being stupid, that it was just sex and as soon as Nick was back in Vegas none of this would feel so intense. But Nick was gone already and Greg could still feel him, his hands on Greg's skin and their mouths fitted together and Nick pressing inside him. He could still feel Nick's fingers tracing the scars on his back when he thought Greg was asleep, sending little shivers up and down his spine, and he could feel the weight of Nick's cock on his tongue as Greg took him into his mouth. It was just sex, but it didn't feel like just anything, and he knew how hard it was going to be to forget.

Maybe if they'd left the hotel room for more than just to get some food things wouldn't have felt so intense between them. At the time it had been easy to rationalize – it wasn't like Greg had brought extra clothes with him, and they didn't really have enough time to go sightseeing. Besides, Nick hadn't seemed all that anxious to go anywhere, and Greg hadn't seen the point in arguing. Now that it was over he knew he probably should have, but that was the problem with hindsight.

He let out a heavy sigh as he pulled up in front of his house and shut off the engine, closing his eyes for a few seconds to try and clear his head before he went inside and faced his parents. It was too much to hope that they weren't home – he wasn't that lucky, and even if he was he knew he'd have to face them eventually. Still, he kind of wished he didn't have to do it in the clothes he'd been wearing the last time he saw them.

He tugged his collar up a little as he walked up the driveway, making sure his shirt was buttoned all the way up to hide the bruises on his neck and collarbone. Just as he suspected, when he walked into the kitchen both his parents were sitting at the table, sipping coffee and passing sections of the paper back and forth. They both glanced up when he walked in, and he willed himself not to blush. "Hi."

"Hi, honey," his mother said, setting down her section of the paper long enough to smile at him. "Did you have a good weekend?"

"Yeah," he answered, heat creeping up his neck even though he was way too old to be embarrassed about his sex life. "I would have mentioned it before Nick showed up, but he didn't tell me he was coming."

"He mentioned something about that," his mother answered in a way that made Greg wonder if she knew more about his relationship with Nick than even he did. "Such a nice boy. Very polite."

Greg rolled his eyes when his father echoed the sentiment; hearing Nick referred to as a 'boy' was bad enough, but it was pretty obvious his parents were already crazy about him. He swallowed the irrational urge to tell them Nick wouldn't be sticking around and turned toward the door that led to the rest of the house, pushing it open and heading upstairs before they could ask him any more questions. It didn't really hurt if his parents wanted to think Nick was an important part of his life, and it definitely beat explaining that he'd just spent the whole weekend with someone they'd probably never see again.

He wouldn't have to worry about it if he had his own place. He'd been putting off looking for awhile, but he was running out of excuses and he wasn't even sure anymore why he kept stalling. It would make everyone's life easier – his parents wouldn't have to wonder where he was when he didn't show up for dinner, and he wouldn't have to fight so much traffic on his way to work. Moving out was the next logical step in getting his life back together, and now that he had a job he could afford it.

He pulled on clean clothes before he went back downstairs, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting down at the kitchen table. "Can I have the classifieds?" he asked, smiling his thanks when his father handed them over.

"I thought you were happy with your job."

"I am," Greg answered as he flipped to the rentals. "Figured it's time to start looking for my own place. I can't keep cramping your style forever."

He grinned when his father smiled at him, ignoring the knowing look in the older man's eyes. He'd always been able to talk to them about the really important stuff, but there were some things he'd just as soon never talk to his parents about.

"There's no rush, honey," his mother said, and Greg had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. "You know you're welcome to stay here as long as you like."

"Yeah, I know." He smiled and turned back to the paper, scanning the apartment listings in the city for something that sounded reasonably livable. She was still worried about him – he couldn't blame her, not after the explosion and the rehab, but he couldn't use that as an excuse to stay. As long as he was still living with them it felt too much like this was temporary, and it was way past time to make it feel permanent.

~

Nobody asked Nick about his weekend on his first night back in the lab. He told himself that was a good thing, that maybe it meant they were finally learning to mind their own business, or at the very least moving on to a more interesting topic. There were a few looks – some of them knowing, some of them just curious – but they were easy enough to ignore, and as long as nobody asked him it didn't have to matter what they thought.

And he knew he wasn't fooling anybody, but he wasn't sure he was ready to talk about it yet. There was still a sense of unreality about the whole thing, like maybe he'd just imagined the past two days with Greg. It would be easy to believe that it was all his imagination if he didn't have bruises and marks on his skin to show for it, marks that were shaped an awful lot like Greg's mouth. Greg's mouth that he could still feel on his own, against his skin and swallowing his cock, and Nick was already half-hard just from the memory.

He shook his head and refocused his attention on the crime scene he was supposed to be working, telling himself there was a time and a place and this past weekend was supposed to help him get a grip on his feelings, not make them even worse. Things between him and Greg were more concrete now, they had a focus and a direction and that meant he should be able to focus on his job and think about Greg only when it didn't interfere with anything else. He'd always been able to do that with relationships in the past, and there was no reason that now should be any different.

Only it was, just like everything about Greg was different from what Nick usually let himself feel. It was new and exciting and terrifying all at the same time, and he knew before he even got on the plane back to Vegas that he was too far gone to do anything about it.

He'd called Greg when he got home, but his mother said Greg was out for the afternoon. She'd kept him on the phone for a few minutes, telling him again how much they'd enjoyed his visit and inviting him to drop in any time. Like he was just down the road. Like he could just get in his car and come over for Sunday dinner, spend time sucking up to Greg's parents just the way Greg had accused him of doing. Part of Nick wished he could, and that same part of him had actually spent the flight back considering the appropriateness of sending Greg's parents a fruit basket.

He caught himself grinning at the thought and wiped the smile off his face, dropping another suspicious fiber in an open envelope and painstakingly labeling it before he moved on. He stood up, straightening a back stiff from the past hour of collecting samples, wincing at the brief, sharp pain that shot through his lower back. There was still work to do, but right now all he wanted was a long, hot shower and his bed.

What he could really use was a massage, but there wasn't much chance of that happening. The thought conjured a memory of Greg's hands on his back, mapping the muscles of his shoulders as he kissed his way down Nick's spine. As soon as the image flashed in his mind he pushed the memory away, closing his eyes for a second to clear his head. Too late he realized that was the worst thing he could do, because as soon as his eyes were closed he could feel Greg's hands on him even more clearly, breath hot against Nick's mouth in the seconds before Greg kissed him.

"Hey, man. You okay?"

Nick's eyes snapped open at the sound of the familiar voice, his cheeks flushing as he found Warrick watching him curiously. "Yeah, fine. Sorry. Just a little tired."

"Right." Warrick drew the word out in a voice that let Nick know he wasn't buying anything Nick was trying to sell, but he didn't really want to know the truth. "You about done in here?"

"Yeah," Nick answered, dropping the last of the evidence in his kit before he snapped it closed and picked it up. "I've got some samples to drop off in Trace. You following the body?"

Warrick nodded as he led Nick out of the hotel room and down the hall toward the elevators. He was one of the few people who hadn't been giving Nick weird looks or asking anything about Greg, but Nick knew he'd heard the rumors. It was impossible to work the night shift and not have heard them – at this point he was almost sure it was impossible to be employed by Clark County and not have heard about Nick and Greg.

They rode down to the lobby in silence, Warrick carefully avoiding looking at Nick and Nick carefully avoiding noticing. He understood – they were friends, but they weren't that tight and the idea of Nick and a guy had probably come as a pretty big surprise to Warrick. It had definitely come as a surprise to Sara, and he had a feeling there were more than a few people in the lab who still wondered if it was all some elaborate joke.

And he had to admit that it was kind of nice that at least one person in the lab wasn't looking at him like he was some kind of specimen. That was exactly how it had felt since he got back to Vegas; he'd been telling himself all night that it was only because it was his first night back, that as soon as everybody got used to seeing him again that they'd stop looking at him like he was one of Grissom's more exotic experiments. Except that he'd only been gone two nights, and no matter what everyone thought they knew, there was no one on the night shift who actually knew what happened in California.

"So I'll drop these at the lab and meet you at Doc's," Nick said as they reached the parking lot.

Warrick nodded once and turned toward his car, and a few seconds later he was pulling away, leaving Nick to stare after him. He told himself he was glad, that he was grateful to have one person around who wouldn't press him to talk about something that was none of their business. Because he didn't want to talk about it, at least not with anyone who wasn't Greg. Only Greg hadn't called him back yet, and Nick was starting to wonder exactly where he'd been all day that meant he couldn't return a simple phone call.

He rolled his eyes when he caught himself worrying about whether or not Greg was rethinking this whole thing. They'd both been there in that hotel room, and Greg had been just as anxious as Nick to hold on to every moment, to memorize every touch. Nick had seen it in his face, clear in his expression every time he caught Greg watching him. They hadn't needed to say it because they'd both felt the exact same thing, and trying to put it into words would just make it seem less real.

That was what he'd told himself at the time, but now his phone wasn't ringing and he was almost three hundred miles away and he felt…helpless. He told himself that Greg just needed time to think things through. He just needed time to think about Nick's offer, to swallow his pride and come back to Vegas where he belonged. The important thing was that he knew how Nick felt now – that had to count for something, and if it wasn't enough to get Greg to move back then at least it would be enough to get him to visit.

He drove back to the lab on automatic pilot, barely noticing the people he passed on the way to the trace lab. For once he avoided Hodges and dropped off his evidence with the new girl instead, forcing himself to smile when she did. She had to know why he'd been avoiding her since she started working the night shift – there were enough big mouths in the department that he knew someone would have told her, and maybe that explained why she didn't quite meet his gaze when she took his evidence.

As soon as he could he escaped from the lab, pausing when he passed Grissom's office. He told himself he shouldn't, but he could see Grissom at his desk and he didn't really look that busy. Besides, it wouldn't really hurt to ask – nobody would have to know except him and Grissom, and if Nick got the answer he was hoping for it might help him convince Greg to reconsider.

He walked into the older man's office before he had a chance to talk himself out of it, knocking on the doorframe as he stepped into the room. "Gris, you got a minute?"

"Something wrong?"

"Not exactly." Now that he was standing in front of Grissom he wasn't sure why he was doing this, but it was too late to back down now. So either he made up some problem with the case, or he said what was on his mind and got it over with. "It's about Greg."

"How's he doing?"

"Better," Nick answered automatically, willing himself not to blush at the fact that his boss knew exactly where he'd been during his short vacation. He wasn't entirely sure it was true; Greg's hands shook an awful lot that first night, especially when he first saw Nick, but by Sunday morning it was almost as if he didn't have a tremor at all. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I've been trying to talk him into coming back, but he doesn't think you'd rehire him."

"It's not a matter of my not wanting him here," Grissom said. Nick watched as he folded his hands carefully in front of him on the paper-strewn desk, and for a second he felt more like a kid in the principal's office than an adult talking to his boss. "His qualifications were never the issue, he knows that. The question was whether or not he could perform his job."

"Yeah, I know," Nick answered, biting back a rush of impatience, "but now the question is whether or not there's still a place for him on the night shift."

For a few sickening seconds Grissom almost looked like he was going to tell Nick no, that Greg was gone and that was that. He felt the anger clenching in his stomach, a hard weight just sort of resting there and making him feel a little queasy. Then Grissom shook his head and let out one of those little sighs that let Nick know he was trying to find the right way to explain a concept he was sure his audience wouldn't understand.

"I can't promise him his job back, Nick. We've already got a full staff. But if he's ready to come back and he wanted to apply for any future openings, his application would be at the top of the pile."

Nick knew that was the best he was going to get, and he knew better than to push any more. Instead he nodded and took a few steps toward the door, telling himself it was better than a flat refusal. "Thanks, Gris."

"You're welcome. Now I believe you've got a case to solve?"

Nick grinned sheepishly and turned on his heel, walking out of Grissom's office and toward the front door. It wasn't exactly the answer he'd been hoping for, but it was better than it could have been, and with any luck it would help convince Greg to change his mind.

~

He knew he should have called by now. He should have called back that first night when he knew Nick would be at work and left a message on Nick's machine, just so he could say he'd tried. Nick had called since then, of course – he was nothing if not persistent, and Greg never would have figured him for the type who couldn't take a hint. Only he had a feeling Nick knew exactly why Greg was avoiding him, and he knew Nick wasn't going to give up easily.

The problem was that Greg didn't know what he wanted. Sometimes he wished Nick would just forget about him, move on with his life and forget they ever knew each other. Other times he wanted Nick to call – or worse, he found himself hoping Nick would show up out of the blue again. He'd caught himself thinking about it on the drive home from work the past two days, wondering what he'd do if he walked into the house and found Nick sitting at the kitchen table, making conversation with his mother as though he belonged there.

He knew it wasn't going to happen. Nick might be stubborn and more impulsive than Greg had ever given him credit for, but he wasn't going to blow off work. That was an obligation he took seriously, and not even Greg was enough of a distraction to make him forget that. Not that Greg wanted Nick to ruin his career over this…whatever it was. He couldn't really call it a relationship, but it was more than just sex. If it was just sex Nick wouldn't have called as soon as he got back to town on Sunday, and he wouldn't have called again on Tuesday when Greg didn't call back.

It was Wednesday now, and Greg left work and drove straight to his appointment with an apartment manager just a few blocks from campus. And he wasn't wondering if there would be another call from Nick on the machine when he got home, just like he wasn't feeling guilty that he hadn't called Nick back. He'd been busy, and apartment hunting wasn't easy in L.A., so he had a good excuse. He had an excuse, and Nick was just going to have to understand that he had a life of his own.

Only he knew Nick wouldn't ask for an explanation when Greg finally called him back, and that made him feel even worse. Nick would be understanding, he wouldn't push or try to make Greg feel bad for blowing him off. He wouldn't say anything out loud, anyway, but he was good at making Greg feel guilty without actually saying the words.

Like that thing at the airport, announcing out of the blue that Grissom already knew about them. That was a message – it had taken Greg awhile to decipher it, but he finally got what it meant. It had been Nick's way of telling him that this wasn't just some fling for him, that he wasn't just getting Greg out of his system. He wanted…something, something Greg probably couldn't give him. The hints about coming back to Vegas, the way he kept bringing up Greg's old job – even the way he'd inspected Greg's hands when they were together, like he was trying to convince himself that Greg was all better and the tremor was gone.

Part of him was thrilled that Nick wanted him back in Vegas. He couldn't help it – two years was a long time to carry a torch for someone he never thought he'd have a chance with, and it was hard not to react when he found out how wrong he'd been. That was why he'd spent a whole weekend in a hotel with Nick, why he'd driven him to the airport and let Nick kiss him goodbye like they were actually going to see each other again.

He knew better, but he'd let it happen anyway because he'd wanted it for so long than he couldn't pass up what was probably his only opportunity to have it. But now…now Nick wanted Greg to be exactly the same as he was before the explosion, and that was impossible. Even if he hadn't lost his job because of the accident he would have changed. It was inevitable, just like it was inevitable that Catherine would start being more careful in the lab and Sara would start rethinking the way her life was going.

These things were supposed to change people – hadn't he heard that from every doctor and every shrink the hospital had paraded past him before they finally sent him home? They hadn't done him any good, but now he wished he could get one of them to explain some of this to Nick.

None of his frustration changed the fact that Nick wanted him, though, and whenever the thought snuck up on him he still felt the same wave of startled awe. It was enough to make him think about showing up in Vegas for a weekend, just for a second before he really thought about what it would mean to show up in Vegas, and then the panic took hold again. Because he wanted…more, more of Nick and more of whatever they'd started in that hotel room, but just the thought of Vegas made his hands twitch against the steering wheel as he pulled up in front of the apartment complex that advertised quiet and a partial view.

The view bit was crap, he knew that much, and considering the residents were most likely almost all students he figured the quiet part was crap too. Still, the price was right, and as long as it was clean and available he didn't care about much else. It was just a place to sleep, really, and student housing meant they wouldn't require a full year's lease. He wasn't sure why exactly that was important, but whenever he found himself thinking about it he just told himself he wanted to keep his options open.

Not that he had many options these days, he reminded himself as he let himself into the rental office. He pasted on his friendliest grin for the benefit of the receptionist, told her his name and settled into one of the worn armchairs pushed back against the far wall. He flipped through a brochure while he waited, staring at the different floor plans without really taking in the details. This was the fourth place he'd looked at, and the apartments were already starting to blend together. The truth was that they all looked pretty much the same – four white walls, worn, nondescript carpet, and a balcony that was just big enough to display the nonexistent 'view' every complex in L.A. boasted.

The door to the inner office opened and he looked up, turning his smile back on as a tired-looking man in a dingy white work shirt walked toward him. "Mr. Sanders?" the man asked, holding out his hand as he descended on Greg.

"Greg," he answered, taking the other man's hand and shaking it briefly.

"Thanks for waiting," the manager said, producing a ring of keys out of nowhere. "You wanted to look at the one bedroom model?"

"If you've got any available," Greg answered, dropping the brochure back on the table as the other man led the way to the door.

"Just so happens one just opened up. It's right this way."

Greg followed him up a set of concrete stairs, past a sun-bleached concrete pool at the center of the complex. They stopped at the far end of the second story, and Greg listened to the traffic in the background as he waited for the manager to find the right key. At least it sounded like Vegas, he told himself as he followed the older man inside, blinking against the sudden change in light.

Once his eyes adjusted he glanced around – there was a small galley kitchen just off a bland, square living room carpeted in what probably started off as a beige shag. The balcony was past a set of sliding glass doors on the far side of the living room, but at least it was the second floor so he wouldn't have to worry too much about break-ins. The bedroom looked pretty much like every other apartment he'd looked at, and there was a small bathroom at the end of the hall. Less than five minutes later he'd seen the entire place.

"Of course this model doesn't have a view," the apartment manager said, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the balcony, "so the rent's a little lower. There's another unit opening up at the end of the month…"

"But I could move in to this one right away."

"Once your application and credit check are processed, of course," the older man answered, pursing his lips for a second before he continued, "the unit would be available immediately, yes."

Greg nodded and took one last look around, ignoring the nagging feeling that he should think this through a little more before he did anything drastic. "Great. Can I fill out that application today?"

~

When the machine picked up Nick let out a frustrated sigh and hung up the phone. He didn't bother to leave yet another message – he knew it wouldn't do any good, and besides, he'd already left three messages for Greg since Sunday. He was starting to feel like a stalker; this wasn't the way things were supposed to go, he wasn't supposed to spend more time on the phone with Greg's mom than with Greg himself.

It had been nearly a week since Nick last spoke to Greg, and he was starting to think he'd pushed too far with that parting shot about Grissom. He'd pushed too hard and made Greg nervous, and now he was backing off entirely. That was exactly the opposite of what was supposed to happen, but Nick couldn't do anything to fix it if Greg wouldn't even return his calls.

He was still brooding when the phone rang; the sudden break in the silence made him flinch, and he reminded himself that it was probably just a family member or Grissom calling him in on his day off as he reached for the cordless. "Stokes."

"Still trying to be Grissom when you grow up?"

The sound of Greg's voice sent a wave of relief through him, followed quickly by anger. He wasn't surprised that the first thing out of Greg's mouth after five days of silence was a joke, but that didn't mean he had to go along with it. "If you don't like the way I answer my phone you could always call somebody else."

A long pause was his only answer, and he worked hard not to regret snapping. If Greg didn't want to deal…well, Nick didn't have to like it, but he couldn't make Greg want the same things he did. He was starting to think that maybe Greg hung up, but a few seconds later a throat cleared and he had to sit down before his knees gave out on him.

"Guess I should have called earlier."

He was probably just hearing what he wanted to hear, but it almost sounded like Greg was sorry. Whether it was just guilt or an actual apology Nick had no idea, but he let out a heavy sigh and closed his eyes to picture Greg on the other end of the line. "Look, G, I'm not…I just need to know what we're doing here."

"I was hoping you knew," Greg said, and there was just enough nervous laughter behind the joke to make Nick think that maybe he hadn't imagined everything he thought Greg felt about him. "It's just been a really busy week, but I should have called."

"Yeah? What have you been doing all week?" And he wasn't jealous – he didn't have any claim on Greg, for one thing, and he couldn't expect Greg to sit around in his room when Nick wasn't around.

"I found an apartment."

The words hit him harder than they should have. As soon as Greg said it Nick told himself he shouldn't be surprised, that Greg didn't have any intention of moving back to Vegas, and it was only a matter of time before he found a place of his own. That didn't make him feel any less like he'd just been punched in the stomach, though, and he had to remind himself to breathe before he could even think about coming up with an answer.

"When…when are you moving?"

"As soon as my application goes through," Greg answered. "They're waiting on the credit check, but I should get the keys on Monday. Would have been nice if I could have moved in over the weekend, but what can you do."

"Yeah, lousy timing," Nick heard himself say, but he wasn't really paying attention to the conversation. His brain was already working overtime to think of something, anything he could do to stop this from happening. When he caught himself wondering who owed him a favor and how he could get them to mess with Greg's credit history he shook his head and stood up, pacing the living room in an effort to regain some control.

He forced himself to focus on Greg's voice as the other man tried to sell him on the new place, but it sounded a lot like Greg was trying to convince himself this was the right thing to do. Somewhere in the back of Nick's head a voice was screaming for him to tell Greg that it wasn't, that this was the worst thing he could do. He wanted Greg to pack up his stuff and leave his parents' house, sure, but he wanted Greg to move back to Vegas. He wanted Greg here, in his house, with him all the time. And maybe that was moving way too fast considering they weren't even really dating, but he was way beyond thinking rationally about what was happening between them.

"Listen, G," he interrupted, stopping Greg right in the middle of telling him how close his new place was to campus, "there's something I need to tell you. It's the reason I've been trying to get a hold of you all week. I talked to Grissom…"

"Nick," Greg warned, but it was already too late, because he was talking right over Greg as though he hadn't even heard him.

"He can't guarantee you your job back, but he made it pretty clear that when you're ready your name would be at the top of the list. If you called him he might bring you back as a trainee – there's money in the budget for a new CSI, and someone's going to get promoted this year…"

"Nick." Louder this time and laced with anger, and Nick paused long enough to realize what he was doing. He was pushing again, but suddenly he wasn't sure he cared whether or not he pushed Greg away completely. If Greg didn't even want to try then there was no point in Nick waiting around just to be disappointed later. "I'm not coming back."

"Why not? We're talking about the job you always wanted. You don't have to throw that away just because you're embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed," Greg snapped. "This isn't about why I left."

"Then what's it about?" Nick asked. He knew any second now Greg was going to get really mad, maybe even tell him to lose his number, but if they couldn't even talk about it then there was no reason for Nick to keep calling. "You can spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself if you want, but it's not going to change anything."

He knew he shouldn't have said it. He knew as the words were leaving his mouth that he was going to regret it. Greg had every right to be angry about what happened to him, and it wasn't the kind of thing anyone could just get over. That didn't mean he had to let it ruin his life, though, and Nick couldn't believe the Greg Sanders he'd known for the past five years was going to give up just because of a temporary setback.

"G, I'm sorry," he said when he was met with heavy silence on the other end of the line. "I didn't mean…"

"Do me a favor," Greg interrupted, "save it for somebody who wants to hear it."

The line clicked before he could answer, and Nick sat frozen on his couch and listened to static until the dial tone finally roused him out of his trance. He hung up the phone and dropped it on the coffee table, closing his eyes and running his hands over his face. He still didn't know what was going on between them, and now he wasn't so sure he was ever going to find out.

~

It took Greg a few hours to start feeling guilty, but by the time he started to regret hanging up on Nick it seemed like it was too late to call him back. The truth was that Nick had been right – Greg was embarrassed about the way he left, and he'd spent a lot of time feeling sorry for himself in the past few months. Those weren't the biggest reasons he didn't want to go back to Las Vegas, but they were close enough to the truth to sting.

Not that he was entirely at fault. Nick just wouldn't let the Vegas thing go, and even though part of Greg was flattered, he was getting a little tired of hearing about it. He didn't want to call Grissom and ask for his job back; he liked California, and anyway he was making more money at his new job than he had been at the crime lab. He'd told Grissom once that it wasn't about the money and he still believed it, but he wasn't sure he could make Nick understand what it was about.

Maybe Nick was right and he was just letting his pride get in the way of his happiness, but it wasn't like he was miserable in L.A. He liked his job, he liked his friends and it was kind of nice to be close to his parents again. His new apartment wasn't much to look at, but it wasn't that different from his place in Vegas, and besides it wasn't like he was planning to spend a lot of time there. All California was really missing was Nick, but he had a feeling he'd screwed that up anyway.

It wasn't that hard not to think about it while he was busy repacking the few things he'd bothered to unpack in the first place. Getting his keys and moving his things from his parents' place to the apartment took up most of his free time for almost a week, but when he found himself alone in an apartment surrounded by boxes it was hard to stop himself from thinking. There wasn't much else to do, really, because unpacking all the stuff he hadn't seen since Vegas just reminded him of exactly what he'd left behind.

Everything reminded him of the lab – his textbooks, the coffee mug he'd kept on his lab station for as long as he could remember, even that stupid surfboard keychain he'd fished out of his drawer the day he'd packed up the last of his stuff. He pushed the memory of the lab to the back of his mind and tried to focus on the future, on everything he could do now that he was back in California. His hands had stopped shaking so much, and with any luck he'd be ready to get back out on the waves by next season. Steve had made him promise he'd drag his surfboard out of his parents' basement, and now it was leaning against the wall in his new living room, just waiting for Greg to pull himself together.

There was a lot to look forward to, and nothing that he'd left behind couldn't be replaced or forgotten eventually. He wasn't missing anything – not even Nick, because sure, Greg had wanted him for a long time, but it wasn't like they were committed or anything. Even if they were it wouldn't matter, because he was here and Nick had no intention of leaving Vegas. He wanted Greg, but on his own terms, and he was asking for something Greg couldn't afford to give.

When he got to the stack of CDs Nick had bought to replace the ones that had melted in the lab his lips twitched into an involuntary smile – it was impossible not to picture Nick standing in the door to his bedroom looking nervous and hopeful, a little confused but determined too, like he knew what he wanted and he wasn't planning to take no for an answer. And he hadn't, at least not until Greg hung up on him.

Before he could stop himself he was reaching for the phone, telling himself it was too late even as he dialed Nick's number. He expected to get the machine – part of him wanted to get the machine, so he could leave a message telling Nick he was sorry but it was probably for the best if they just called it off now. That was the smartest thing to do, because he wasn't going back to Vegas and Nick wasn't going to let the subject drop.

He rehearsed his speech in his head while he listened to the phone ring, and when the machine did pick up he told himself he wasn't disappointed. It was better this way, because now he wouldn't have to hear Nick agree that they should quit while they were ahead. He steeled himself for the beep, but before Nick's recorded voice got to the part about leaving a name and number the line crackled, and a second later a sleepy voice murmured 'hello?' in his ear.

"Nick."

A second of silence, then Nick's throat cleared and he heard the rustle of sheets and God, Greg could just picture him stretched out on his mattress. "Greg?"

"Yeah. Sorry. For waking you up. I mean, I'm sorry for hanging up on you – that's why I called, but I thought you'd be at work."

"So you called to apologize to my machine?" He sounded more awake now, but Greg couldn't tell if he was still mad or just tired.

"I guess. I didn't really plan it out first."

Nick laughed at that, and when Greg heard him moving again he couldn't help picturing it. He bit back a groan and closed his eyes, but all that did was make Nick's voice sound even more like it was right in his ear. "I figured I blew it for good. I didn't expect to hear from you."

And he was so stupid, because he'd had the perfect out and he'd screwed it up. All he'd had to do was not call, just forget about Nick and move on with his life, and Nick would have done the same. It would have been so easy, but then he never would have gotten to hear Nick's voice, still thick with sleep and whispering right in his ear. He hated himself for being so weak, but he closed his eyes again anyway and leaned back on the couch to picture Nick on the other end of the line.

"Look, I just…I need to know what you want from me."

Nick sighed heavily and Greg tensed – he knew what was coming before Nick said it, but he'd asked and he couldn't take it back. "I want you to come home."

"I am home."

"You know what I mean," Nick said, and this wasn't fair, because his voice was low and thick and Greg wanted to ask what he was wearing just so he could hear Nick say 'nothing'. "We've got a shot at something here. The timing sucks, yeah, but that doesn't mean we can't still try."

"It was one weekend. It doesn't change anything." He didn't believe that any more than Nick did – they'd both been there, and they both knew how much had changed in one weekend – but he almost wished it was true. At least then it would be easier to walk away.

"You know that's not true. Even if it was just the weekend it changes things."

He wanted to tell Nick that it was just sex, because even though it would be a lie it would still sting. But just the fact that he knew exactly how to hurt Nick stopped him from saying it; he had no idea when he'd gotten this weak or this sentimental, just like he didn't know when he'd fallen in love with Nick or what to do about it. "So what do we do now?"

"Come to Vegas," Nick said, talking fast so Greg wouldn't have a chance to interrupt, "just for a visit. We need…we should do this face to face."

It had barely been two weeks since the last time they saw each other, but Greg knew exactly what Nick meant. He hadn't been able to think about anything else since the moment Nick got out of his car, but he knew exactly what would happen if he went back to Vegas. Nick would spend the entire time trying to convince Greg of why he should move back, and Greg would spend the whole time feeling completely off-balance. "I can't."

He expected an argument, but instead Nick just sighed and tried again. "I'll come there, then. I've got a couple vacation days left, and I can get Warrick or somebody to switch shifts with me."

And this was a bad idea, because one weekend had changed things, but another one wasn't going to make any difference. All it would do was make it harder to finally call it off when they figured out it wasn't working, and that had to happen eventually. Vegas wasn't that far from L.A., but it might as well be in an ocean away while they were trying to work out a relationship.

"I'm not going to change my mind."

"I know," Nick answered. "I just need to see you."

He knew he was going to regret it before he agreed, but when he opened his mouth the words tumbled out, yes and okay and he had to bite back a desperate hurry. He wanted Nick there now, wanted the waiting to be over with so he could lose himself in feeling for awhile and not have to think about what happened when Nick went back to Vegas.

~

It took two weeks for Nick to clear his schedule. Two weeks for three days with Greg, and he'd had to threaten to tell Warrick exactly why he wanted the time off to get him to switch nights with Nick. It was worth whatever he had to do, though, worth the looks from everyone at work and the crowded flight and the stares he got when he saw Greg waiting at the gate and stopped short, forgetting for a second where he was and that there was a crowd of people behind him.

He was jolted back to reality when someone collided with him, and he mumbled an apology and tightened his grip on his bag, threading his way through the crowd to stop in front of Greg. "I thought you were at work."

"Left early. Told them I had to pick someone up at the airport."

Nick didn't even try to stop himself from reaching out, fingers sliding through Greg's hair and down the back of his neck. For the first time in his life he didn't care who was watching, but he wasn't sure how Greg would feel if he kissed him right in front of an entire airport full of people, so he settled for sliding his arm around the other man's shoulders and looking around. "Which way's your car?"

Greg laughed and nodded toward the right, and several frustrating minutes later they found themselves in the relative privacy of the airport parking lot. There were a few people around, but most of them were too focused on their bags to notice Nick catching Greg around the waist and pressing him up against his car.

"When do you have to be back?" Greg asked, his hands already working their way under Nick's shirt, and maybe he wouldn't have minded the public kissing so much after all.

"Monday afternoon," Nick answered between kisses, the words murmured against Greg's mouth. And he didn't want to talk about going back; he didn't even want to think about leaving, not until he had to. "Think you can take Monday off too?"

"I already did." Greg pulled away with an effort, palms flat against Nick's chest to push him to a safe distance. "My place. Now."

Nick grinned at the breathless demand and tossed his bag in the back seat, then slid into the passenger seat and shifted to try to find a comfortable position in his suddenly too-tight jeans. He had no idea where Greg's new place was, but unless it was actually in the airport it was way too far away. The drive into the city went by in a blur, and by the time he was inside Greg's apartment Nick couldn't remember a single thing about the drive. There was some small talk about Greg's folks and Nick's flight, but most of the drive was more or less a tension-filled silence, and Nick had to fight to keep his hands to himself so he wouldn't cause an accident.

Once the door closed behind him he forced himself to stop long enough to look around, taking in the boxes still stacked around the living room and the couch pushed up against the far wall. He wasn't really interested in Greg's décor, though, and when Greg grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him forward Nick got the impression he wasn't really interested in giving Nick a tour.

"Nice place."

"It's a dive," Greg answered, the words muffled against Nick's neck, "but it's close to work."

His hands slid back under Nick's shirt, pushing the fabric up and over his chest. Nick pulled back long enough to tug it off, dropping it on the floor before he reached for Greg again and pushed him forward toward what he assumed was the bedroom. He got Greg's shirt off before they reached the door, and by the time they actually made it to the bed there was a trail of clothes behind them. And this was all he'd been thinking about for the past two weeks, but when Greg was finally stretched out under him Nick paused, bracing himself on one arm to look down at the other man.

"What?" Greg asked, and God, he actually sounded worried that Nick might be changing his mind. He had no idea…he couldn't, because if he did he'd never worry about how Nick felt about him again.

"I meant what I said, G. I miss you." For a second Greg's eyes clouded and Nick thought maybe he'd screwed up already. He was starting to develop a real talent for saying exactly the wrong thing whenever Greg was concerned, but he'd flown back to California so they could work everything out, and that wasn't going to happen if he didn't say what he was thinking.

Greg shrugged and slid one hand down the center of Nick's chest, and when his mouth twitched into a grin Nick's heart skipped a beat. "Of course you do. Your life's gotta be pretty boring without me around."

He laughed and rolled onto his side, playfully swatting Greg's hip. "Smartass."

"I don't know if my ass is smart," he began, but he trailed off with a gasp when Nick's hand slid over the ass in question, two fingers pressing against the taut skin behind his balls. Nick took advantage of his surprise to press their lips together, his tongue sliding into Greg's mouth as he pressed the tip of his finger inside the other man.

When he pulled away Greg was panting, one knee bent and slung over Nick's hips to give Nick better access. And he looked better than Nick remembered, pale skin flushed and his whole body pressing back into Nick's touch. His eyes were closed, and before Nick could stop himself he was leaning forward, pressing kisses to Greg's eyelids, then his cheeks, feathering kisses along whatever skin he could reach. He wanted everything, and he knew three days was never going to be enough.

His stomach clenched at the thought but he pushed it away roughly, pulling his hand away from Greg to push him onto his back again. "Do you have any protection?"

"Yeah," Greg answered, his voice breaking on the single syllable, "in…in the drawer."

He gestured vaguely toward the nightstand, and jealousy surged up hot inside of Nick as he wondered who else had been in this bed since Greg moved into his new place. He pushed himself up long enough to open the drawer and pull out a box of condoms, dropping it on the mattress and grabbing the lube before he crawled back over Greg. "We need to talk."

"Now?"

"I just want to know if you're sleeping with anybody else."

For a second Greg just looked confused, then he frowned and shook his head. "Jesus…no. I mean I know I've got a reputation and all, but I'm usually a one-person kind of guy."

"Good," Nick said, biting back a comment about exactly what kind of reputation Greg had. "Me too."

"So is there anything else you wanted to talk about, or do you think we can get back to what we were doing?" Greg asked, thrusting up against Nick to illustrate his point.

Nick bit back a groan and fumbled for the lube he'd dropped on the mattress. "I'm good for now."

He squeezed some of the clear liquid onto his fingers and dropped the bottle again, shifting onto his side to slide two fingers inside Greg this time. He knew better than to read too much into the fact that Greg wasn't seeing anybody else, but he couldn't help himself. He wanted it to mean something, wanted it to mean that Greg felt the same way he did. Even if it didn't automatically spell a future for them it was a start.

His mouth moved on Greg's skin, down his neck and then his chest, seeking out all the spots on Greg that made him gasp and clamp down hard on Nick's fingers. Greg's hands flexed against his shoulders, digging in hard enough to leave angry-looking red marks against Nick's skin. When he started babbling Nick pulled back long enough to reach for a condom, sliding it down his length and running a slick hand over his cock before he knelt between Greg's legs and pushed his knees toward his chest.

He slid into tight heat in one smooth motion, closing his eyes against the urge to push when Greg tensed. His hands moved in soothing circles along Greg's skin, his breath coming in short gasps as he waited for Greg to relax. When he finally did Nick sank into him, leaning forward to brace his hands on either side of Greg's shoulders. He pressed their lips together for a hard kiss as he began moving his hips, in slow circles at first until Greg was panting and pushing up against him, murmuring things like now and more and a few things Nick couldn't make out.

"Pushy," Nick muttered just to hear Greg laugh, but he shifted a little, angling his hips until he found the spot that made Greg gasp and arch up against him. And there were a thousand things he needed to tell Greg, but he knew if he said any of them right now it would be way too easy to write it off as the heat of the moment, and when he said 'I love you' for the first time he wanted to make sure Greg believed him.

Instead he focused on hitting Greg's prostate with each stroke, over and over until finally Greg was begging incoherently. He reached between them and wrapped a strong hand around Greg's cock, stroking in time with his own thrusts until Greg was pushing up into his hand, demanding more without saying a word. Nick gave it gladly, tightening his grip and pressing his thumb hard along the underside of Greg's cock over and over until he came with a low, broken moan.

He thrust one more time, groaning when Greg clamped down hard on his cock to hold him there, burying himself as deep as he could before he came. Warm hands slid across his sweat-slick back when Nick collapsed onto Greg's chest, breathing hard against his neck. He wanted to go back to the beginning and start all over as soon as he caught his breath, because getting up and cleaning themselves up meant they were going to have to talk, and suddenly he wasn't sure he was ready for that. What he wanted to do was stay just like this for as long as possible, with Greg's fingers tracing little circles on his back and his heart beating against Nick's ear.

It was impossible, though, and too soon Nick was pushing himself up, pulling out of Greg and forcing himself off the mattress to find the bathroom. He was washing his hands when he felt something move behind him, and he glanced in the mirror to find Greg watching him.

"You want a shower?" Greg asked, the corners of his mouth turning up in a suggestive grin.

Relief hit Nick hard and he smiled back at Greg's reflection before he turned around, pulling the other man close. "As long as you're coming."

"We just did that," Greg answered, raising and eyebrow as he looked Nick up and down. "But we could always try again."

Part 04