FANFIC: Sweet Cool Water by Caroline Crane 10/12

Posted with permission from the author. See notes in sidebar.
Title: Sweet Cool Water
Author: Caroline Crane
Rating: NC17 (See happy reading in sidebar!)
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Summary: A hard night on the job and an unexpected encounter with a familiar face force Nick to re-examine some things about himself.
Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, 11, 12.

Part ten

Nick spent the next two days trying and failing to forget everything that happened at Greg's place. He didn't remember falling asleep in Greg's bed, but he remembered waking up with Greg's arm still wrapped securely around his waist as Greg drooled against his shoulder in his sleep. For a second it was almost cute, but as soon as he woke up enough to remember the night before he stopped thinking about how cute Greg looked and started thinking about how fast he could get out of there.

It was the first time he'd ever felt guilty about leaving before the other person woke up; usually he figured he was doing them both the favor of sparing them the awkward morning after routine, but with Greg…with Greg all the rules changed. He'd tried telling himself it was because they worked together, but that didn't explain why he'd spent his entire day off stopping himself from driving back to Greg's place. There was just something about the way he felt when they were together, the way Greg kissed him like they had all the time in the world.

Greg had kissed him for a long time after he broke down over the case. He hadn't tried to talk about it anymore; maybe he could tell Nick couldn't take it, or maybe he was just afraid Nick wouldn't bother to wait until he fell asleep to run out on him. He had no idea how long they'd stayed awake after that, kissing and touching and eventually bringing each other off again with long, slow strokes. It wasn't until Greg finally wrapped his fingers around Nick's cock that he realized it was the first time Greg had touched him that way, and every time he thought about it now he was left with the aching knowledge that it would be the last time.

There was no way Greg was ever going to sleep with him again after the way Nick had acted. He told himself it was for the best, that he'd screwed up their working relationship enough already and the sooner they forgot all of this the better off they'd both be. But no matter how many times he told himself that, he couldn't stop wanting Greg. And worse, he couldn't stop remembering the way he'd fallen apart right in front of him.

He thought having the next day off would make it better, but the more time that passed the worse he felt about taking off without an explanation. It was a cowardly thing to do, and lately he'd been taking the coward's way out a lot. Thinking about it made him nauseous, but he couldn't not think about it, so he'd spent the past twenty-four hours alternating between hating himself and trying not to throw up.

Part of him wanted to go back to work just so he could throw himself into whatever case Grissom assigned him and forget about his own problems for awhile. But there was another part of him that didn't want to go anywhere near the crime lab, because he knew he'd run into Greg eventually. He wasn't even sure which he was more afraid of – that Greg would try to talk to him, or that he wouldn't want to.

He had a case to focus on, though, and with any luck they'd found something on Jessie's computer that would help solve it. Nick pulled his I.D. around his neck and closed his locker door, taking a deep breath before he forced himself out into the lab. There was a tension in the air, different than the usual energy brought on by cases to be solved and too much caffeine. He couldn't quite put his finger on what had changed, but as he made his way to the break room for assignments he couldn't help tensing a little in anticipation of whatever was about to happen.

Maybe that was why he didn't notice Greg until the other man was right in front of him. And he should have known that Greg wouldn't try to avoid him; he just wasn't that kind of guy, not when he thought he had something to offer. What Greg thought he could do for Nick he wasn't sure, but he had a feeling it involved a lot more talking than Nick was ready to deal with.

"Hey."

"Hey," Nick echoed, tensing even more at the sound of Greg's voice. It was a little too low and a little too reminiscent of the last time Greg had talked to him, quiet and soothing and whispering things Nick didn't want to remember in the harsh lights of the crime lab. "Listen, G, I've gotta get in there before Gris blows a gasket…"

He gestured lamely toward the break room, but Greg ignored it and leaned in a little closer. "So are we gonna talk about this or what? It's okay, you know. Totally understandable."

Nick frowned, confusion marring his features as he tried to decide what exactly Greg was getting at. He wasn't sure whether Greg thought he was embarrassed about crying in front of him or if he was just trying to let Nick off the hook for leaving without saying goodbye, but either way they both knew it was inexcusable. That was the whole point; Nick took off so he wouldn't have to have this conversation at all, and Greg was either too stubborn or too stupid to take a hint. A heavy sigh escaped his throat and he ran his hands over his face, part of him hoping that when he looked up again Greg would be gone.

He'd never been that lucky, though, and when he opened his eyes again Greg was still watching him, his jaw set in a determined line. Something about the way Greg was looking at him made Nick want to lean forward and kiss him, force that jaw to relax until they both forgot what it was they were supposed to be talking about. But he couldn't do it, not here where the entire lab could see them. Besides, he had a feeling it wouldn't work this time, and even if he thought it would he knew he didn't have the right.

"Greg…" His voice dropped to barely above a whisper, and suddenly this whole situation felt way too intimate. He could feel the ghost of Greg's hands on him, feel the warmth of the water from Greg's shower and Greg's mouth kissing his tears away. His cock stirred in response to the memories and he felt his skin heating up; he'd never felt so out of control in his life, and he knew if he kept standing there he was going to say something he'd regret.

Greg was waiting for him to say something, to come up with some excuse or maybe an apology that would make everything okay again. And part of Nick wished he could, that he could find the words to make it all right so they could go back to whatever they'd been before all this happened. Only Greg didn't want to go back, that much was obvious, and Nick couldn't give him what he wanted. He swallowed a sigh and opened his mouth, intent on giving Greg the 'it's been fun, but…' speech for the second time, but before he got the words out he heard footsteps behind him.

He straightened up automatically, pulling himself back together with the ease of long practice. He glanced over his shoulder, forcing a casual smile when he saw Catherine headed toward him. "Hey, Cath," he said, hoping he sounded at least close to normal.

"Hey," she echoed, casting a quick, curious glance at Greg before she turned back to Nick. "I take it you haven't heard."

"Heard what?" Nick asked, his shoulders tensing again for an entirely different reason. Instantly his mind switched gears, and he forgot all about his problems with Greg as he waited for Catherine to deliver whatever news she had about the case.

"They brought somebody in," Catherine answered. "They extracted some deleted e-mails from Jessie Walker's server and traced them all to someone who claimed to be working for a teen outreach group. Brass and Grissom are questioning him now."

"They think this is the guy?" Nick asked, already falling into step with Catherine as she started down the hall again.

"Hey, Stokes."

As soon as he heard Greg's voice Nick froze and glanced over his shoulder. Greg was still leaning against the doorframe where Nick had found him, but his expression this time was unreadable. Nick had only seen him like that one other time, and that time he'd pushed Nick bodily out of his lab. At the time Nick hadn't really paid attention, but now he swallowed a wave of regret. "I gotta do this," Nick said, wincing at the apology in his voice that he was sure Catherine heard just as clearly as Greg did. "I'll catch you later."

He pushed the guilt as far back as it would go and turned to follow Catherine out of the building, willing himself to focus on the details of the case and not the look on Greg's face when he'd walked away. This was what he needed to do; Greg knew it as well as he did, he couldn't fault Nick for that. They both had jobs to do, and Nick needed…he needed to see this guy with his own eyes. Even if he didn't get to interrogate him, he needed to be there so he could see for himself whether or not this guy was the one responsible. Greg had to understand that, just like he had to know that Nick was grateful for everything Greg had done for him. And he was, even if he wasn't any good at showing it.

There would be time for that later, though, after this case was over and he and Greg were back to normal. Once Nick was back on even ground again he could tell Greg that he appreciated it, that he was sorry for the way things went down. Greg was a smart guy, he'd understand why Nick needed to see this case through. It wasn't about avoiding what had happened between them or being embarrassed about crying in front of Greg. He wasn't that big a jerk, no matter what Greg thought of him right now. He just needed to do this, needed to see this case through so he could get back to normal.

Fifteen minutes later he and Catherine were standing shoulder to shoulder, a heavy silence hanging between them as they watched Grissom lay out the evidence for the suspect on the other side of the glass. Nick had been through this hundreds of times – on both sides of the glass – and he knew the suspect never looked the way they expected him to. He knew better than to expect a real live monster sitting in the chair across from Grissom, complete with horns and breathing fire. He'd told himself a hundred times over the past week that when they found him he'd be somebody normal, that he'd look just like anybody else on the street.

Knowing that never made it any less jarring when he actually saw the suspect for himself, though, and this time the normalcy of the situation hit him even harder. The guy looked so weak; he was thin and a little gaunt, as though he wasn't used to eating regularly. He definitely wasn't a match for three healthy seventeen-year-olds, which explained the sedatives they'd found in the boys' systems.

Anger flashed hot in Nick's chest as he played out the scene in his head along with Grissom's narrative; Jessie reaching out to someone he thought was a peer counselor, a guy who claimed to be just a few years older than him. A few e-mails back and forth, an invitation for Jessie and his friends to come to the club, promises that their 'new friend' could get them in. He told them it would be good for them, help them feel like there was somewhere they belonged, somewhere they could fit in and just be themselves for awhile.

The e-mails stopped when Jessie finally agreed on a date and time, but it was pretty easy to fill in the blanks after that. Nick knew the club owner and his staff were nervous enough about losing their liquor license to give a positive I.D., and then all they had to do was match the guy's DNA to the evidence he'd left behind at the crime scene. He was either incredibly stupid or incredibly arrogant, but it didn't really matter which, because there was no way he was going to get off. They had him, and as soon as Grissom took a swab and sent it back to the lab the case would be closed.

He had to stop himself from volunteering to run the swab back to Greg. He wanted to do something, anything besides stand on the other side of the glass with his hands clenched into fists and his arms crossed over his chest. He was so tense he thought he might snap if he didn't do something, but going back to the lab and dealing with Greg when he felt like this was a bad idea. So he let Catherine do it, ignored the look she gave him before she left and told himself she didn't know what was wrong. She couldn't; despite what she thought, she wasn't any more of a mind reader than Grissom, and neither of them knew what was really going on in his head.

Part eleven