FANFIC: Sweet Cool Water by Caroline Crane 5/12

Posted with permission from the author. See notes in sidebar.
Title: Sweet Cool Water
Author: Caroline Crane
Rating: NC17 (See happy reading in sidebar!)
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Nick/Greg
Summary: A hard night on the job and an unexpected encounter with a familiar face force Nick to re-examine some things about himself.
Chapters: 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, 07, 08, 09, 10, 11, 12.

Part five

Nick stretched and opened his eyes, squinting against the bright mid-afternoon light pouring in through the window. His first thought was that he definitely hadn't ended up at home, and as soon as he realized he wasn't in his bed the night before came rushing back to him. His whole body flushed as he remembered the way he'd held onto Greg, the way they'd moved together and then later, how he'd kept kissing Greg over and over until finally he couldn't tell where he ended and Greg began.

Coming here had been a mistake; he'd known it when he knocked on Greg's door, and it was even more obvious now in the harsh glare of daylight. He was alone in the bed for the second time in as many days, but he knew Greg was probably just in the next room, watching TV or maybe playing video games while he waited for Nick to wake up. Nick sat up slowly, making as little noise as possible as he climbed out of bed and found his boxers. He pulled them on and headed for the bathroom, glancing down the hall toward the living room to make sure Greg wasn't standing there watching him. But there was no sign of the other man except for the low, dull drone of the television, so Nick let himself into the bathroom and closed the door.

Once he was sure he was alone he let out a heavy sigh and leaned against the sink, staring at his reflection in the mirror in front of him. He had no idea how long he'd been asleep; long enough for his limbs to feel heavy and sluggish, but he looked like he hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep in weeks. His eyes were red and puffy, dark shadows underneath them making him look even older than he felt. He was still exhausted even after sleeping most of the day, but he was too restless to think about calling in and going home to try to get some more sleep. What he wanted to do was get back out there, show Grissom that he could be trusted to do his job. He wanted to find answers to the case that had been haunting him for two days, that had driven him to Greg's apartment in the first place.

He let out another sigh and turned away from his reflection, intent on borrowing Greg's toothbrush and then getting out of his apartment and back to his own place as soon as possible. But when he looked down there was a brand-new toothbrush still in the box sitting right next to Greg's own toothbrush, and Nick's stomach turned as he realized Greg had left it out for him. He reached for the box, lifting it carefully and turning it over as though he thought it might explode in his hand. But it was just an ordinary toothbrush, and he finally shook his head and slid it out of the box.

It was possible that Greg just happened to have an extra lying around; maybe he was in the habit of picking up random guys and bringing them home, and maybe he didn't want everybody and his brother using his toothbrush. There was probably a perfectly innocent explanation. Nick told himself he believed that and reached for the toothpaste, then turned on the sink and avoided looking at his reflection while he brushed his teeth.

Once his mouth was clean the rest of him felt even more dirty, though, and the thought of standing in Greg's shower was a lot more inviting than going out there and facing Greg himself. He hesitated for a few seconds before he finally made up his mind, sliding his boxers off again and turning on the water. He'd just take a quick shower and then he'd get dressed and go home; Greg wouldn't mind, and it would save a little time if he didn't have to shower when he got back to his own place.

It wasn't because he was avoiding having to make awkward small talk with Greg. He'd have to do that eventually anyway, but if he took a shower it would be a little more believable when he said he had to leave right away so he could get some clean clothes before their next shift started. And okay, maybe it would have been nice if Greg had been there when he woke up just so Nick could touch him one more time before he put an end to whatever they were doing, but he knew he wouldn't have been able to stop Greg from talking and right now that was the last thing he wanted to do.

He closed his eyes and ducked his head under the water, willing his mind to go blank so he wouldn't have to think about Greg or sex or stupid things like toothbrushes and the shirt still balled up in the back of his locker. For a minute or two he floated on the refreshing blankness of not thinking about anything; the warm spray felt good on his skin, and the steady rhythm of water pounding against the shower wall lulled him into a sort of trance. But just as the last of the tension flowed out of him another image floated into his memory, not of Greg this time, but the face of a seventeen-year-old boy lying face-up in an alley. Nick's eyes snapped open and he shook his head to chase the image away, his heart pounding loud against his eardrums and his fingers shaking at the force of the memory.

For a second he thought he might throw up, and he braced himself against the shower wall while he waited for the worst of the nausea to pass. When he could breathe again he straightened up, finishing his shower as quickly as possible and reaching for the towel hanging next to the door. He carefully kept his mind blank as he tugged his boxers back on and headed back to the bedroom in search of his clothes, resolutely not thinking about where he was or what had driven him there in the first place.

When he reached the bedroom Greg was already there, standing in front of the closet in just a pair of jeans and staring at his clothes. Nick could tell he was giving a lot of thought to picking out a shirt, and he was tempted to suggest that Greg wear the bright blue one that Nick had always thought looked best on him. He swallowed the suggestion just in time and crossed to the bed, picking up his jeans off the floor and turning his back to Greg while he got dressed.

"Hey, you okay?"

The sound of Greg's voice in the silence of the room made Nick flinch, and he turned a little too quickly to find the other man watching him. "What?"

"I asked if you were okay. You look like you just saw a ghost or something."

Nick wiped the stricken expression off his face as quickly as he could, but he knew it was already too late. It was obvious he wasn't going to get Greg to believe there was nothing wrong, but he wasn't going to talk about it if he could help it. "It's nothing. Just thinking about work."

Greg nodded and for a second Nick actually believed he might just let it go, but a second later Greg abandoned his search for a shirt and crossed the room to sit on the edge of his bed. "So what happened with that guy they brought in last night? Was he the one?"

"They let him go," Nick answered, ignoring the slight tremor in his voice. He really didn't want to talk about this, especially not with Greg, but he knew if he made a big deal out of it Greg would just push even harder to get the truth out of him. "Nothing to hold him on."

"Yeah, but you must know something, right? I mean the same DNA sample was on all three bodies, so…"

"Look, can we just drop it?" Nick interrupted, ignoring the flash of guilt when he looked up at Greg. He knew Greg wasn't trying to annoy him, but the last thing he wanted to talk about was DNA and Greg's half-baked theories on the case. All he knew was the evidence that passed through his lab; he had no idea how frustrating it was when they had mountains of evidence and not a single suspect.

"Sorry. I'm just curious. It's all anybody at work's been talking about since it happened, and since you're assigned to the case and all..."

"Yeah, well, Gris took me off the case." He stole a quick glance at Greg, a fresh wave of guilt washing over him when he saw the other man's expression. He'd never been very good at hiding it when his emotions were running high, and after the last two days he was too wired to even try.

He finished buttoning his shirt and picked up his shoes, sitting down on the bed a few feet away from Greg to pull them on and tie the laces. He could feel the weight of Greg's gaze on him as he tied his shoes automatically, keeping his own eyes fixed on his hands so he wouldn't have to look at the other man. This was exactly what he'd been hoping to avoid – this suffocating, vibrating silence that said everything without saying anything at all. He couldn't leave feeling like there was something unfinished between them, because if he did he knew he'd end up right back here again. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about it, to give Greg his patented 'it was great, but…' speech and see the disappointment in the other man's eyes. This was exactly the reason he didn't sleep with people he knew, because somehow they always ended up in exactly this position no matter how hard he tried to avoid it.

"Look," he heard himself say, "This…it's been fun, but I…it's just a bad idea."

And God, he sounded like an idiot. He was usually pretty good at this stuff; all he had to do was turn on the charm, smile and make it sound like it was his fault it wasn't working out, and most of the women he dumped ended up begging him to stay friends. The sound of him tripping over his own words was so foreign to him that he wasn't sure if Greg had even gotten the point until he ventured a glance at the other man.

"Why?"

Nick frowned at the question and looked down at his hands again. Greg wasn't supposed to ask him for an explanation; he was just supposed to nod, say he understood and point Nick in the direction of the door. Even if he didn't get it he wasn't supposed to ask; that wasn't the way these things worked, at least not where Nick came from. "You know why, man," he said, as though the answer should be obvious even to Greg. "We work together, you know how people talk."

"So? People talk all the time and nobody takes it seriously. You think anybody really believes Catherine's sleeping with Grissom? Come on."

"People are talking about Catherine and Grissom?" Nick asked, his discomfort temporarily eclipsed as he wondered how he'd missed that rumor.

"People talk about everybody. It doesn't mean anything." Greg paused and shifted a little closer, reaching out with one hand and toying with the tail of Nick's shirt while he spoke. "Look, I'm not stupid, okay? I know why you ended up here the first time, and I know why you came back this morning. You were freaked out about the case, if anybody can understand that it's me. But we get along okay, and we have a pretty good time together, right? So what's the problem?"

Nick turned to look Greg in the eye and tell him that that was the problem, that they got along too well and it felt way too good when they were together. He couldn't afford that kind of distraction, not with someone like Greg, and especially not with a guy he worked with. He started to tell Greg that this could cost them both their jobs, that it was more serious than just a handful of rumors about Gil and Catherine, but before he got a single word out Greg leaned forward and pressed their lips together.

It was instinct to kiss him back, just like it was instinct to bury his fingers in Greg's hair and pull him closer. His free hand slid down Greg's bare chest, fingers splayed against warm skin as he catalogued the mingled tastes of mint and Greg on his tongue. He wasn't sure how he ended up stretched out on the bed again with Greg underneath him, just like he wasn't sure how he'd gone from sucking on Greg's bottom lip to mouthing the smooth skin on his neck, pulling the blood to the surface to leave a mouth-shaped bruise.

He pulled back to look at the mark without really thinking about what he was doing, but as soon as he saw it another memory flashed in his mind's eye. A second later he was scrambling backwards, breathless and flushed and tasting blood even though he knew he hadn't broken Greg's skin. He stood up abruptly, ignoring the desire still coursing through him as he watched Greg blink in confusion and sit up.

"I can't." He shook his head to try to erase the lingering memory, but it stubbornly refused to dissipate. "I…I gotta go."

He was out of the bedroom and at Greg's door before the other man even had time to react, but he didn't stop moving even once he was safely outside. The chances were pretty good that Greg wouldn't actually follow him, especially after the way Nick had run out of his apartment, but he wasn't about to take any chances with a scene in the middle of the parking lot. He didn't want to see the disappointment and confusion in Greg's eyes, he just wanted to get the hell out of there and forget that any of this had ever happened.

And maybe Greg deserved a better explanation than 'we work together'; they were friends, after all, and Nick hadn't set out to ruin their working relationship. He couldn't stay there and face Greg, though, not with that image still burned in his mind. The fact that Greg was so warm and alive made it even worse, because Nick could still feel the other man pulsing against him even now that he'd made it to his car. He could feel Greg's mouth on his, Greg's skin under his hands and his heartbeat against Nick's cock when he slid inside him. He wanted more and he knew he wasn't going to stop wanting, but it was better that it ended now. He was playing with fire in more ways than one, and if Greg hated him for running out then maybe it was for the best.

Part six