BOOK: Hersenschimmen - J. Bernlef

Title: Hersenschimmen (Out Of Mind*)
Author: J. Bernlef
Genre: Stream of consciousness
Publisher: Querido 1984
Pages: 160
Language: Dutch
Rating: 9/10

Summary: This story is told from the perspective of Maarten Klein, 72 year old pensioner, who moved from the Netherlands to the U.S.A. after WorldWar II. He lives with his wife Vera in small seatown Gloucester, Massachusetts. Maarten doesn't realize he is suffering from Alzheimer. He does initially manage to cover up his forgetfullnes and messy mind. It takes his wife and his doctor some time to figure out what the problem is. Eventually they hire a nurse to keep an eye on Maarten, but changes from his daily routine make him even more confused and scared. He doesn't understand what's going on and is afraid his wife will leave him.

Spoilerfree Review: When I was in highschool this book was on everyone else's reading list, so of course I didn't want to read it. I'm glad I didn't give it a try back then, because I'm convinced the story wouldn't have had the impact on me it had now. Not to dismiss the brain of every 17 year old girl, but I certainly am more capable of dealing with this subject after a couple of extra years of life experience.

Bernlef manages to pull you into the brain of Maarten while it is falling apart. Because the point of view is coming from within Maarten, it's not immediately obvious what is going on with him. As a reader you share his initial irritation about this silly forgetfullness. When Maarten's condition gets worse and his memories mix with unrecognizable present times, it feels like you can follow him. You can almost understand what it must be like and you feel Maarten's fear of the unknown.
Both Maarten and Vera are trying very hard to keep on caring for each other. But you know they will eventually reach the point where they can't continue together. Despite the tragic subject, this story is written with a lot of comfort and it's a beautiful read; but it did leave me feeling very hopeless.

*The title translates literally to 'Brain shadows', but is available in English as 'Out Of Mind', which somehow feels a little disrespectful to me.